I think we have a storytelling problem when it comes to giving birth, and here’s why…
Scary birth stories travel fast
(With the most traumatic ones seeming to always get shared at the worst of times.) And don’t get me wrong, those experiences are real and they deserve space, just not all of the space.
I find fear is contagious in a way that excitement just isn't. A lot of people walk into the experience of giving birth already braced for the worst, dreading the event before a single contraction has even begun.
I'm not going to tell you that mindset is everything, because it isn't. Things are going to happen in labor and delivery that are completely out of your control, and no amount of positive thinking changes that. However, I do believe that the headspace you have going into birth matters more than we give it credit for.
Bringing Coco into the world was one of the best nights of my life, but at the same time, it was far from perfect. There was a genuinely scary moment where my blood pressure dropped (after receiving the epidural), and for a few minutes I was convinced something was very wrong. I told Michael “don’t let me die” and in that moment, I meant it.
Then slowly, everything came back. We wiped our tears, looked at each other, and just kept going. Just eight minutes of pushing later, our girl was here. Michael caught her and we were all laughing.
That scary moment is a part of the story, but I don’t let that define it. I came in open to the experience, and well, I experienced it fully.
Every birth is its own thing, and I'd never promise you it'll go exactly the way you planned. But I can promise you there's a real difference between the person who walks in open and the one who walks in already defeated by a story that wasn't even hers.
If you’re interested in hearing more about my two incredibly positive birth stories, this video shares my first experience with Milo, and these two videos (part 1 and part 2) walk through my second with Coco.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
🎧 If you want a bigger life but keep getting in your own way, my latest episode of The Real Stuff is going to hit. I sat down with Les Alfred, host of She's So Lucky podcast, and we talk all about how to create your own luck, why ambition in women is still so taboo, and the mindset shift that changes how you show up for the things you want most.
💋 Seventeen years ago, on March 13th 2009, I was hanging out with Michael in my childhood bedroom and, because of a dream I'd had the night before, I decided to kiss him. Ten minutes later, a pre-recorded audio of him asking me to prom played live on my dad's radio station. This man had a vision for our lives before I could even see it.
💰 I know some of you are creators too, and I want you to know I'm hosting a free live training next week on landing paid brand partnerships. In the past five years, I've made multiple 7 figures from brand deals alone.
BE MY NEXT GUEST
A couple of times a month, instead of a celebrity guest, I’m handing the mic to YOU. I’m inviting members of my audience (anonymously if you’d prefer) to join the show and talk about ALL the real stuff: sex, money, mental health, and everything in between. If you’re ready for a deeply personal conversation on a public platform or have a wild life story to share, apply here.
WHAT YOU SAID
It's no secret I love the suburban life, but I wanted to know where the rest of you plan to settle down.
And apparently, it's everywhere, lol! A quarter of you are fully settled in the suburbs and never looking back. About 30% of you are either city loyalists or suburbanites who still have the city in your heart. And the rest of you are either out in small towns and rural areas or still figuring out where you belong. I will say, even if you think you know what you want, you never really know until you make the move. So to those of you still figuring it out, my best advice is to just try something new and see how it feels.
LATEST FINDS
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
I'll be the first to admit that I didn't always feel this way about birth. It took some mental work to get to a place of excitement over fear. So I'm curious how you're feeling about it right now.
How do you feel about giving birth?
The results will appear immediately after you vote! Check next week's issue for the final numbers.
UNTIL NEXT TIME
Whether you're personally in a season of preparing for labor, or know someone who is, I hope this gets in front of the eyes that need it most. Positive birth stories deserve to be shared just as loudly as the scary ones, and I'd love to hear yours if you have one. You can always email me back directly, I read each and every one!
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