Today’s edition of The Lucie List is extremely personal. I’m honored to tell you an amazing story about my “Uncle” Donald, a man who wasn't technically my uncle by blood, but who’s woven into the fabric of my being. And after he passed away in 2011, something happened that made me (and my entire family) believe in little miracles.
Uncle Donald was my parents' best friend from childhood—he was literally the person who introduced them to one another. He was the third wheel in their relationship for decades, there for every adventure, every milestone, every story. When I was growing up, my siblings and I called him Unc. He was always there, always warm… emotional and deeply loving. He wrote the most detailed birthday cards, sent hilarious postcards from every trip, and was one of those rare people who made everyone feel special.
In 2010, he was diagnosed with leukemia. By June 2011, he was gone. I was 19, home from my first year of college.
The dream that changed everything
The night of his funeral, I had a dream that was unlike any other dream I'd ever had about someone who had passed. Typically, when deceased people show up in my dreams, my brain doesn't register that they're supposed to be dead… it just feels normal. But this time was different.
I was standing with Uncle Donald in a bright white room, and the first thing I said was: "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be dead. I just went to your funeral today."
He told me two things:
"I did die, but I’m going to be here (on earth) for the next 10 years, so I'm going to be at your wedding.”
He kept asking to go swimming, not in a pool, but in the ocean. "From heaven, when you look down at earth, it all looks purple. But I know the ocean is blue."
Then I woke up.
The impossible confirmation
The next day, the very first thing I did was call his wife, Joanne. When I told her he said he'd be here for 10 years, she gasped. "Lucie, during the entire funeral, I was talking to him in my head and he told me the exact same thing. He said he’d be around for the next 10 years."
When I mentioned the swimming, she couldn't believe it. "All last week, he kept asking to go swimming. We couldn't take him, but he talked about it constantly."
And the purple thing? After some research, we found stories from people who died and were resuscitated. Many reported looking down at earth and seeing everything with a purple haze. I'd never heard those stories before, but somehow, Uncle Donald told me something that only someone who had “crossed over” would know.
The next 10 years
From 2011 to 2021, something significant happened every single year on March 21st, Uncle Donald's birthday.
The first year after his death, my sister won an award landing her a summer internship on that exact day. The same day, I received my first Today Show invitation. Year after year, his birthday brought milestones, opportunities, and gifts. We started seeing ladybugs as his calling card—a sign he was there and all was well.
When Unc told me in that dream that I would get married within the next 10 years, I didn’t know if I believed him. Yes, I was dating Michael at the time, but I was just a freshman in college. Who was to say if our relationship would last and if we’d get married before 2021? Lo and behold, we got married in 2019. I mentioned Uncle Donald in my wedding vows and I genuinely felt like he was there, just like he said he would be.
But as we approached the final year of his promise (2021), something truly amazing happened.
Uncle Donald’s last gift
By 2020, Michael and I were just about to start trying for a baby. I was struggling with irregular cycles, waiting 40, sometimes 50 days before ovulating. Then came March 2021, the last year of Uncle Donald's 10-year promise. I'd been peeing on ovulation sticks for over 40 days straight, getting "close but not quite" readings.
On the day of Uncle Donald's birthday, I woke up with this deep knowing. I took a test, and there it was: I was finally ovulating.
That cycle, we conceived Milo. Our first time trying.
And when I went into labor months later, the man who ushered us into the hospital elevator? His name tag said: Donald.
I honestly believe that Uncle Donald gave me Milo. That this baby was the last gift from our beloved Unc.
The signs continue
Even now, signs still appear. My twin sister, Allie, recently had a ladybug infestation in her new house when I saw none at my house just seven minutes away.
And this past year when she was trying to get pregnant after a long journey, I told Michael on the train: "I'm going to look for a ladybug today." I hadn't seen one in months, as it wasn’t really ladybug season.
Nothing all day. Then, as we walked to our car, something literally smacked me in the face. A ladybug flew directly into my cheek and fell to the pavement.
I immediately FaceTimed my sister to show her. She got pregnant that cycle.
What this means
I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some might see it as a way of coping with loss, and maybe it is. But if believing that the people we love stay with us, and finding comfort in dreams or small signs, helps us feel less alone in our grief, I think that’s something beautiful.
If you’re looking for a sign from someone you’ve lost, I hope you find it. Something that feels too specific to be a coincidence. A presence when you need it most.
And when you do, I hope it brings you the same comfort Uncle Donald’s presence has brought me.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Last week on The Real Stuff, I had an incredibly moving conversation with Brandon Sudduth, a content creator and podcast host who shared something he'd been carrying in silence for over three decades: sexual abuse he experienced as a young child by a family member. Brandon's willingness to be this vulnerable is remarkable, and his story is a powerful one.
Here are a few moments that stuck with me:
On carrying a secret for 30+ years: Brandon kept what happened to him completely private until about a year ago when he finally told his wife Destene. "I was prepared to die with that secret," he said. But recently, the memories kept surfacing, and he felt a pull to share his experience, not for himself, but to potentially help someone else going through something similar.
On the silence that comes with childhood abuse: One thing that really got to me was learning that no one ever explicitly told Brandon to keep quiet. He just knew. "I felt that it was on me," he explained. "I looked at like,f if I say something, I'm going to be just as much in trouble as the person who's committing the act." It's such a painful illustration of how children shoulder blame that was never theirs to carry.
On how it shaped his adult relationships: Brandon connected the dots between his childhood experience and patterns he noticed later in life, like particularly being drawn to older women throughout his teens and twenties. "That experience just shaped my mind to where it was like, okay, older women, that's what I like," he shared. It wasn't until he was 19 and had an encounter with a 55-year-old woman that he started questioning these patterns.
On being okay without traditional therapy: Brandon hasn't pursued therapy for this experience because, as he put it, "I sleep good at night. It's not like I wake up in the middle of the night restless and having nightmares." He believes the memories kept resurfacing not because he needed personal healing, but because his story was meant to shared and serve a larger purpose.
On his family finding out: Brandon's entire family, including his mother, is going to learn about this abuse when an episode of his own podcast comes out about it. He's still wrestling with whether or not to reveal who the family member was. "That's the only thing she's going to be caring about," he said about his mother's likely reaction.
Brandon's story is a powerful reminder that survivors of sexual abuse deserve to be heard and believed without shame.
You can listen to the full episode of The Real Stuff on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or watch on YouTube.
BE MY NEXT GUEST
A couple of times a month, instead of a celebrity guest, I’m handing the mic to YOU. I’m inviting members of my audience (anonymously if you’d prefer) to join the show and talk about ALL the real stuff: sex, money, mental health, and everything in between. If you’re ready for a deeply personal conversation on a public platform or have a wild life story to share, apply here.
WHAT YOU SAID
Last week, I talked about balancing work and motherhood and why I don’t think there’s one “right” way to do it. I shared what’s working for my family for now, but I wanted to know where you stand. So, I asked:
The majority of you (70% to be exact) still want work to be part of your identity and routine, whether that's full-time or part-time. Paycheck aside, it's about purpose, autonomy, and maintaining a life that exists beyond the home. That said, part-time is clearly the sweet spot for most of you, which now has me tempted to do a follow-up poll on what the “perfect” part-time schedule actually looks like for everyone... whether that's closer to 10, 20, or 30 hours a week.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
I know everyone has different beliefs and experiences when it comes to grief and spirituality, so I'm genuinely curious where you stand on this.
Do you believe in signs or visitations from loved ones who have passed?
The results will appear immediately after you vote! Check next week's issue for the final numbers.
UNTIL NEXT TIME
Thank you for spending your Thursday morning with me! If you’ve ever felt a series of signs, or a visitation of sorts, from someone you’ve lost, I’d love to hear your story.
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